Who's Kidding Who? by Christine Stromberg - HTML preview

Getting Horizontal

My need to get horizontal is occasioned by different things;

it isn't always what men suppose in their wildest imaginings.

Sometimes, it's true, I like to indulge in the kind of thing I do best,

but sometimes I'm merely exhausted and need to lie down and rest.

But try explaining that to a man! Whether he's bright or dim

"I need to get horizontal" I fear means only one thing to him.

Don't tell me that not all men are the same you don't have to make excuses;

I know what goes on in the masculine mind; the visions that phrase unlooses.

Whatever a man's convictions, always, for good or ill,

his thoughts are controlled by a primal urge to procreate at will.

Survival of the species is an instinct really rife.

Why do we make such a song and dance about something so basic to life?

But next time I use the expression don't assume that you are desired.

Ask and I'll say if I want to mate or whether I'm simply tired.

© 2003