Dear Willie,
My wife says I drink too much. Do you think it is wrong to get drunk twice at the weekend?
John, Sydney
Dear John,
I am something of an expert on these matters as drinking is Scotland’s national sport. What you must impress on your wife are the benefits of being drunk. Here is a list of things which you can do better when inebriated. (1) Talk nonsense (2) Fall down (3) Pick fights (4) Eat rubbish (5) Vomit (6) Sleep.
What other activity could give you such a wide range of benefits?
Cheers!
Willie
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