01-09-2016: Gone Without a Trace

I don’t even know how to start this one.

I was dealt one final blow by her yesterday. I bore witness to her having essentially cut all contact and then some. She left me behind, as if without a trace.

Strangely enough, I don’t feel sad. And I don’t feel angry either. Much less do I feel happy - that wouldn’t make sense anyway. If anything, I’m torn.

Upon reflection, the two and a half months I got to talk to her were great. I’d even say they were some of the finest times I’ve ever had in my life - the heartbreak aside, of course. She was one of the nicest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of getting to know.

Alas, now she’s gone. But I don’t hate her. I do hate how she went about distancing herself from me, but I don’t hate her as a person.

I’m ever so carefully hoping that she comes back. Only not as a love interest, but as merely a friend. At the same time, though, I hope she doesn’t.

I did say I’m torn, didn’t I?

Either way, I enjoyed my time with her for the most part. She was my first real online friend. She was my first serious love interest. As much as I may hate how she left me behind without a word, I’ll always remember her.