CHAPTER 40
(THE AFFIDAVIT)
"The Letter Of The Law Verses The Spirit Of The Law"
When I was younger my mother often accused me of breaking "The Spirit Of The Law". Unfortunately in real life the "Spirit Of The Law" holds absolutely no weight as the court systems are required to follow "The Letter Of The Law". The "Letter Of The Law" I believe is what's on paper or what's in black and white.
When I signed the affidavit Mr. Spencer had prepared for me I made certain I wasn't breaking the "letter" of the law as technically I had never opened the envelope in September that contained the decision. I'm sure my mommy would argue that by signing the affidavit I may have been breaking "The Spirit Of The Law".
Here's an example.....
Johnny fell in love with a girl named Sue at the favorite place he liked to shop. Dollar Tree. Eventually Johnny and Sue broke up because he had caught her cheating too many times. When Sue realized Johnny later got a better job as a trucker she tried to win his love back by mailing him gifts from Dollar Tree.
Sue knew that he preferred a clean shaven face so she purchased two bags of shaving razors for him with hopes to win his love back as she was now pregnant and her current boyfriend was doing time in the slammer for possession charges.
The package arrived at Johnny's house and the moment Johnny looked at the return address he took a big red pen and wrote "RTS" and mailed the package back to her.
Sue called him the very day after she "RTS"Ed (Return To Sender) the package but she herself had not yet received what she had originally mailed. When Johnny recognized her number he didn't answer his phone either so she tricked him into answering by dialing *67 first to thwart the caller ID.
Johnny answered. "Hello?"
"Johnny I miss you babe did you receive the shaving razors I mailed you?"
"No I did not." Says Johnny.
Sue was confused. "You didn't receive the razors I mailed you? I mailed them almost a week ago!"
Johnny hems and haws for a bit making Sue suspicious. "Well.....I get a lot of mail when did you mail it?"
Sue is now furious as she feels she is being played. Sue hangs up the phone on Johnny out of sheer frustration.
Was Johnny at any point lying to her?
ACCORDING TO THE "SPIRIT" OF THE LAW.-)
Johnny was purposely being an ass because he was smart enough to know that the only reason she was crawling back was because she was in desperate financial need and he now had deep jingle bell pockets. He knew that she had mailed him “something” obviously but didn't want to ruin the thrill of a MORE frustrated face she would have by figuring out the shaving razors was being mailed back to her. Johnny violated the "spirit of the law" by failing to mention he had "RTS"Ed the shaving razors without ever opening the package. Johnny was in fact violating the "Spirit" of the law.
ACCORDING TO THE "LETTER" OF THE LAW.-)
Johnny DID NOT violate the "letter" of the law and here's why. Because Johnny never technically opened the package he could not of known that there were shaving razors inside of the package. Sue screwed up by asking him specifics like "did you receive the razors". Because at no point and time had the "shaving razors" ever touch any part of Johnny's body because it was packaged, Johnny was in fact telling her the truth!
Because Johnny didn't know what was in the package nor did anything INSIDE of the package touch his body Johnny was in no way shape or form breaking "the letter" of the law.
My favorite quote of all time will always be in the movie titled "The Bandits". The mastermind running the bank robberies starts to get cold feet and makes the greatest quote I still live and preach by.
"You know why I HATE being smart?" His henchmen give him a quizzical stare.
"Because you can pretty much predict what's going to happen next!" -Bandits movie
I was certain to make sure that everything was in fact correct in the affidavit according to the "Letter" of the law as those signatures weren't to be taken lightly. There was still one slight adjustment I wanted in the affidavit that I knew I could easily photo shop on my computer and Spencer wouldn't even figure out I made a slight subtle change to only one word on the affidavit. I wanted to replace the word "receive" with "read" as I felt it would bode better. Somehow I sensed that Spencer knew that I had magnificent photo- shop skills and that's why the deal was that the affidavit had to be signed right away. I hadn't admitted to him yet that I had indeed at one point tried holding the letter across a light bulb prior to "RTS"ing the letter right back to the UC agency. But there was of course one big problem with holding it up to the light. That only works with a one to two page letter. The decision Spencer E-mailed me today was around six pages long. I gave up being curious back in September and mailed it back without ever knowing what the papers said. I also from the door suspected Spencer had assumed I was lying to him because he had hung up the phone on our three way conversation with "Laura".
There was still one very mysterious thing that Spencer didn't know just yet about me. I had no intentions about lying to him about ANYTHING. This UC hearing was really only small potatoes to me. I wanted a win sure but I was winning with something MUCH MUCH bigger the longer everybody milked this thing out. Mr. Spencer was learning my idiosyncrasies. He would be recognizing and understanding my repertoire. I vowed many years ago to officer Steidler that after "A Flagger's Journey" Uncle b would NEVER do business with a real Bona Fide attorney ever again!
The longer this UC case milked out the closer Spencer would be falling into my methodical, enigmatic trap. Because his disclaimer notice stated he was not an official attorney that made him very useful to me in more ways than one. It meant very good news to me because passing a bar examination later required you to take an oath. Mr. Spencer is not under oath like all the attorneys out there which means I'm expecting a big WIN for the much bigger case yet to come! Case No. CI-17- 04410.
I've had to remove a hell of a lot of material from the inside of my $400 Steam Punk hat just to get it to fit over my big massive brain. Hasn't Spencer gleaned at this point he's walking right into a real Dirty Bird vs Gone Girl movie?
If the hat don't fit. You must acquit!