DIARY ENTRIES:
May 21 – Group home called about resume I sent. Got interview for May 25th.
May 25 – Met Dick and Sara, house parents. Job pays $800 per month. Requirements: 1. Assist house parents when on
duty 4 days a week. When off duty, me
and female worker run house. 2. Drive
15-seat passenger van. 3. Prepare meals. 4. Pass medications. 5. Supervise kids. Job title is Child Care Worker, live-out
position. Kids are from 7-18 years old,
racially mixed, males and females. Start
on 28th. (State law requires
female worker be present anytime female child in house).
May 26 – Had damn nightmare again.
May 28 – Sara introduced kids (State allows maximum of 10
per home) Robin, age 16, silly black girl, seeks attention. Alan, age 16, lazy white boy. Tyrone, age 12, crazy black boy. Rita, age 17, Hispanic, suicidal at times. Shonda, age 16, black girl, bad
attitude. Donna, age 14, white girl, shy
and withdrawn. Pedro, age 13, loud
Hispanic boy, loves attention. Meli, age
15, pregnant Jap girl. Sonny, age 16,
gay white boy, smart ass. Only 9 kids at
this time. Introduced live-in female
worker, Blanche, early 50’s, bossy, loud Hispanic bitch. (State says pregnant kid can’t stay in home) Meli
scheduled to be removed soon. Dick and
Sara said kids have been physically, mentally, and/or sexually abused.
June 1 – Taught how to administer medication. (State requires kids visit psychiatrist once
per week) All kids on medication to control behavioral problems. Two are on controlled narcotics. Kids line up to take meds in full view of
staff. (State requires medications count each day by staff and locked in
cabinet)
June 2 – Kids have Blanche upset. Came on duty, found her crying in family room
at rear of house. She forgot to put van
in park, rolled backward into street from drive. Driver’s door was open, knocked her
down. Not hurt, just scared and
embarrassed. Kids laughed at her all
day. Told her I’d have to report this to
house parents, she’s pissed at me.
Stupid bitch.
“Simon, on June second, the incident with the
van and Blanch, why did you feel inclined to report her to the house parents?”
“So she’d know not to mess with me. When I spoke, she’d better listen or she’d be
sorry.”
“It
was a form of control?” Doctor Lerner asked.
“Sure, I guess so.”
“Simon, do you enjoy having control over
women?”
“Sometimes
I do; most women I’ve met needed a strong man’s direction in their lives. But I’ve also met men, weak men, who needed
to be dominated.”
“Have there been any men you
personally dominated?”
“No,” I
said lying.
“In what
way do you feel weak men should be dominated?” she continued.
“I don’t know, I guess through sex or force.”
I said hesitantly. I felt like she was trying to trap me.
“All
right then, let’s move on for now.”
